Bessie Niu

Three years ago I didn’t believe in destiny. I had lots of questions about love, relationship, and life. I had been trying so hard to figure out what to pursuit in life and what love is; I had doubted the existence of “the one”, “soul mate” and “true love”...I guess that most of us have gone through this necessary stage of life which is full of confusion and desperation. Although it was a painful process, lucky me, I survived, and on 23^rd June 2006, I met “the one”.

Ever since that day, I found my own fairy tale. No more questions, no more confusion, no more desperation, but only happiness and perfection that I can ever dream of. In these three years, I am so blessed that I have had a perfect wedding, a love-filled wedded life and a beloved baby girl. I deeply appreciate everything that I have in the present, and especially thanks to my beloved husband, he is my love destiny.

On this year 23^rd of June, my husband gave a necklace called “Le Grand Frisson”, he told me that it means “love at first sight”, and that’s how he felt when he first met me. I was so touched by his efforts, but also too blushed to tell him the truth. Actually the truth is that I didn’t feel the same way on the first day we met, but after four days, on 27^th June 2006, I bumped into him in the Wynyard station by chance. In that morning I felt the butterflies in my stomach, and after three years I can still feel it. :-)

Therefore, today I would like to dedicate this love declaration to my husband. After three years accumulation, our “love at first sight” has already been transformed to “the love of our life”. I finally find the kind of love that two people can’t live without each other. This is our love destiny.

Once you fall in love, you will experience the feeling of pain. There are two major ideas about the pain in love – one is sounded as a pessimistic idea, which believes that the search for true love just like a fantasy that will never come true, love is just pain, illusion, nothing is real; while another one seems quite optimistic which is the idea of Mr. Right & Miss. Perfect. It encourages people to find the magical one, the perfect relationship and believes that once you find the right one, there will be only happiness and sweetness in your relationship, no pain ever.

Those two ideas seem quite different, but they have one thing in common – both of them deny the pain in love, but believe that once pain involves, love is not true any more. So what’s the difference between pessimism and optimism if both of them deny the real feeling within us? Is everything in this world just like a circle? Can I say that integral pessimism and integral optimism start with the opposite ways along the circle but end up with the same result of unrealism?

Well, I can’t either explain everything in this world, or make sure everything I do is correct, but I believe everything I feel is real, both pain and love. Any feeling for me is bearable and enjoyable, because that’s part of me. In my love story, there are pain and happiness, rain and sunshine, winter and summer…but they are all beautiful, because they are real feelings in my real world…